I have had a fear of failure.

I used to joke that I had a fear of success because what’s more daunting then pitching an idea and then someone wants you to make it. YIKES.

But I honestly fear failure. What if I’m not good enough? (You know the refrain.)

Anyway, my crowdfunding campaign failed. Spectacularly. Around the same time, my job was in flux and the universe has been sending me a TON of things in my inbox about Failure. One of them really stuck out to me was this:

You will only succeed by learning how to fail…

Honestly, I’m not upset about the failure of my crowdfunding campaign. It happened and I learned a lot and I’m still unpacking what I learned  and I think I will be for a while.

I remember crying when I didn’t make the 8th grade softball team. That failure hurt a lot but it was a good lesson and if I made it, I would have never done drama and where would I be? Who knows?

The main takeaway that I’ve gotten is Failure is a part of life and a good thing, ultimately.  Now that I don’t feel like the world is going to end if I don’t succeed at really big swings.

So, I think I’m going to take more risks. I don’t feel like I have to hold myself back anymore if my stumbles are going to roll off my back.

I’ve learned a lot from my failed crowdfunding. I’ve learned a lot in the last 6 weeks and I’ve decided to get bold and not stick to one specific plan.

Which means the film that I wanted to be my first feature may not be my first feature and that’s okay.

I’m totally fine with my career taking me wherever it goes as I experiment and try new things.

I just want to be open and not so afraid.

I think I learned that so I can’t say I really failed.